Taking a break!

Ahhhhh so we are really down to the wire now! Today I finished up another semester in school! Woohooo...unfortunately it just means I have to throw myself completely into this move for the next 48 hours! Not fun! I can't believe it's HERE. I mean really HERE. The house is packed. We are living off of paper plates, frozen waffles, out of large gym bags and toiletry bags so that we can get every single thing in the house into a box except those things we will need to have with us. It's kind of depressing. I keep finding myself wanting to break into tears and I don't really know why? I'm glad to go, but sad to go. I hate it here, but will miss the friends I've made. Definitely bittersweet.

Rundown of the last few days:

Spent Friday evening with Brittany and Allen for his birthday party. Was fun, relaxing and yet annoying in some ways. Was a good last weekend here. The cake was very very tasty! 

Saturday was spent huddled inside working on my final exams while tornadic weather swirled throughout the region. Crazy weather here I will not miss! Glad to have yet another semester behind me and wondering what  was thinking to pick up another one that starts in a week.

Today is miscellaneous stuff around here just finishing up little stuff like scrubbing counters, cleaning behind fridge and stove and other junk. No biggie. No stress. The kid has put in a request for Yamato's for dinner so we are headed there in a bit for our last real meal in Clarksville. :{ Kind of makes me sad.

Tomorrow we were insane enough to grab tickets for Game#6 of the Predators vs Blackhawk series in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Excited and yet not because I will be totally freakin bummed if they lose. I think we are nuts to go to this game the night before we pack the truck up...but hey whatever right? When is the next time I get to go to a Preds game? much less a playoff game? So it's all good!

The next time I update we will probably be out of the house and sitting in a hotel. Bummer. I hate thinking about all of the "lasts" I'm experiencing here. It makes me sad.

On another note....weight loss pics! Decided to put up some before and after of me...kind of scary...

It's Stanley Cup time!!

WOOOOOHOOOO! And my favorite team the Nashville Predators are showing down against the Chicago Blackhawks! We ended up getting to go to game 3 last night in Nashville. You would think that is a good thing right? Eh...it was friggin amazing. Well except for the fact that the husband is a huge Blackhawks fan! lol. Never fails. But it was good. The fans were amazing! The team played with more fire than I have EVER seen....they want it and you can FEEL it! Fabulous!

We met up with Brittany and Allen and had dinner at Jack's! Great BBQ! We got free towels to wave at the game! Love it! Preds ended up winning 4-1! We're debating on going to the game tomorrow night...we'll see!

The downer....it is final exam week and I am covered up and can't get motivated! It's killing me! I want to do well but i have soooooooooo much going on that it's like I have severe ADHD...oooooh shiny! No focus!

We are now less than a week from moving! Argh...don't want to think about it. It's starting to depress me. I'm gonna miss my FCW. And I'm STILL meeting awesome ladies right before I go! How messed up is that?? I was trying to hide from making more attachments here daddernit!

Oh well...off to read, relax and then put in another 36 hour day tomorrow!!!

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An emotionally loooong few days...

So I totally failed in my commitment to blog every day! Oh well! Life is simply too hectic right this second to do it every single day. Although there is a ton that I want to post.

To catch everything up since Friday....Saturday there was an FCW potluck planned. They are so much fun and I love seeing so many people come out to make friends. It's awesome. Saturday's potluck was very emotional not only because it was my last one here but because I have these totally amazing friends that did their damnedest to surprise me with a "Farewell Potluck". Great food, great friends, old and new, a few tears, some melancholy moments and a whole lot of fun. They brought cakes and cards and had a throw embroidered to commemorate my time here. It was very special. Told ya I have amazing people in my life. Howell also got a cake and card as a congratulations for graduating Drill and taking me away from here...lol...ok so it wasn't for taking me away from here but you know what I mean. After the potluck we went to hang out with our friends Cari and Shane and had a nice evening just hanging out and talking. The men got a little silly with Irish Car Bombs (Guinness and Bailey's) and we had a mildly scary moment when their daughter's dog decided to latch onto her arm...but overall it was a good day. Just emotionally draining.

Sunday was an interesting day in many ways. I woke up emotionally done and in one of the absolute worst moods possible.My plan was to avoid people so I wouldn't snap at them...didn't work so well. While giving a girl on the boards advice, some little twit decided she wanted to jump down my throat because she mistook what I said. Hormonal me, jumped up her ass and out her throat and went back for me. I already had an issue with this girl and a friend of hers because I had received a couple of personal messages between them in my inbox because one or both of them was stupid enough to hit the wrong button. So in our little interaction, I brought it up and told her she was on notice. LOL....omg! all hell broke loose because they knew they were busted for being catty bitches....so I'm now a privacy invading bitch that INTENTIONALLY reads their trash mail. Ummm NOT! Love how people turn shit around when THEY are the ones doing something wrong. But whatever. Can't stand people like them so it's all good.

I made my super duper World's Best Shepherd's Pie on Sunday....love that stuff!

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World's Best Shepherd's Pie

 

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• Rated by 71 members

Baked in an oven-to-table casserole, this dish will be very hot when it comes out of the oven, so be sure to let it cool for several minutes before serving.

Ingredients

• FILLING:
• 1 1/2 cups frozen corn kernels
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• 1 1/4 pounds ground beef
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 1 cup beef broth
• 1 cup diced canned tomatoes or crushed tomatoes in puree

• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
• 1 1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
• Salt and pepper to taste
• MASHED POTATO TOPPING:
• 6 cups peeled and chopped potatoes
• 1 to 1 1/2 cups grated white Cheddar cheese
• 4 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 cup sour cream, 1/4 to 1/2 cup milk
• 2 teaspoons salt, plus salt to taste, paprika

Instructions

1. Cook the corn according to the package instructions. Drain and set aside.
   
2. Start the potatoes for the topping. Put them in a large pot with enough water to cover them by a couple of inches. Add about 2 teaspoons of salt to the water. Bring the potatoes to a boil, uncovered, over high heat. Cook them for 10 to 13 minutes. Meanwhile, make the meat filling.
   
3. Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Sauté the onion and celery in the butter, stirring often, for about 5 to 6 minutes.
   
4. Add the ground beef to the pan and break it up with a wooden spoon as it browns. Remove the skillet from the stove and, resting it on a heatproof surface so it won't feel so heavy, tilt the pan so that the excess fat runs to the side. Carefully spoon out the fat and discard it (this will make the dish leaner and healthier, as well as lighter tasting).
   
5. Put the skillet back on the burner and set the heat to medium low. Stir the garlic and flour into the beef mixture. Stir in the beef broth, then the canned tomatoes, then the herbs, reserved corn, and Worcestershire sauce.
   
6. Gently simmer the mixture for several minutes, partially covered, then add salt (1/4 teaspoon, give or take a little) and pepper to taste. Transfer the mixture to a large buttered casserole. Set the oven to 400°, and while it heats, check to see if your boiling potatoes are done.
   
7. To test the potatoes, use a slotted spoon to transfer a cube from the water to a cutting board and allow it to cool for 30 seconds or so. If you can slice through the chunk easily with a butter knife, the potatoes are done.
   
8. Set a large colander in the sink and drain the potatoes in it (this job can generate a lot of steam, so it is best done by an adult or under adult supervision). Transfer the drained potatoes to a large mixing bowl and scatter the butter pieces over them. Spoon the sour cream here and there over the hot potatoes as well. Wait several minutes for the butter to melt and the sour cream to warm so the ingredients will be easier to blend, then partially mash the potatoes with a hand masher.
   
9. Switch to an electric mixer set at medium speed and continue to mash, adding enough milk to make medium-soft mashed potatoes. Don't make them too soft, however; you want them to have some body.
   
10. Salt the potatoes to taste and spoon them evenly over the filling. Sprinkle the cheese over the top, then sprinkle on some paprika (be sure to wash your hands right afterward so you don't accidentally rub any of the spice in your eyes). Bake the pie on the center oven rack for about 20 minutes, until the top is golden brown. Cool for several minutes before serving. Makes 5 to 6 servings.
    

 

Monday was crazy day! We packed what was left of the house to pack! The only thing not packed in this place is the brat's room.  Ugh....kids. 

And today is Tuesday....I should  be working on the insane amount of classwork and end of term exams that are due this week...instead I am sitting her updating my blog and cruising FB. Yeah, I know...Procrastinator. It's really a bad thing because I am supposed to be heading to a friends for coffee this morning, meeting another friend this afternoon and then we are heading to Nashville this evening to watch the Predators play the Blackhawks in Game #3 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Crazy busy day and I'm sitting here being lazy instead of getting all teh crap done that needs to be done. grrrrrrr. 

We pick up the truck to move a week from today. Good grief, the time is just chugging on by. I want to cry, and am hormonal enough to just stay a blubbering idiot for the next week or so. I can't get used to the "We're moving NEXT week" thing. It's great, but it sucks.

So anyway...off to figure out the essay for my ethics class (hopefully in time for coffee) and then a crazy busy day!

My patio!

Just a quick thought fir this morning. My patio has been my favorite spot here for 2 years. Why? I dunno...I love my tree! lol...I love sitting out here, enjoyin my coffee and looking up to see this beautiful tree with it's gorgeous white blossoms. I'm gonna miss my tree. lol

And the dog...the crazy mutt that makes me nuts following me around with his nose up my butt...he's great company on the patio...and of course is just a goofy dog...lol

Reflections

Something about packing and moving has me a really crazy reflective mood. Tonight I was packing up a desk drawer and came across pictures of the kids when they were tiny.....ultrasound pics of both of them...so of course I started thinking about everything and everybody else in my life.

I really didn't think it would be this hard for me to leave this place. I've hated it since we got here. I've hated being so close to "home" and all of my misdeeds as a teenager and a 20something. Being this close...ahh..it just wasn't a good thing in my mind. The saying, "You can never go home" has always been my mantra...because I never wanted to go home.

Sitting here reflecting over who I am, who I have become over the last few years. I don't know who that other person was. I kind of look like her again...which is good, but the rest of her I don't know. At 37 years old, I know I have found "me". I know I'm ok with me. I've prided myself on being a tough loner who didn't need people. Friends, family...whatever...they were disposable.

I have let myself wear so many labels over the years, given by myself and by others...and that was ok. I have changed so much that it's really laughable looking back. I'm not tough. I'm not a loner, and I DO need people. And that's something I have only discovered in the last 3.5 years. So many people have come through my life since we came into the Army, some good, some bad...but they have all affected me in some ways. I've lost friends over stupid stuff, grown distant from people I was close to, grown closer to people I never thought I would. So many people! Cari, Brittany, Beth, Kim, Janie, April, Angela, Jessi, Krystala, Natalie, Sarah, Lura, Amber, Gina, Rebecca, Michelle, Staci, Elizabeth, Alison, Kristin, Stephanie, Leanna, Vanessa, Sabrina (and if I didn't name you it just mean my brain can't count that high these days!)...so so so many more that I can't even name them all...they've all touched me in some way...whether they know it or not. I treasure the ones I still have and regret that the ones who are gone. 

Being this close to home I've been able to reconnect with elementary and high school friends that I never thought to have in my life still. Instead I've gotten to meet Sheryl's sweet baby and party with MK and her husband's "hair band" and catch up with so many more. It has been amazing.

Leaving here has got me on such an emotional roller coaster right now. You forget how much you go through together when you lean on each other through deployments. You laugh, you cry, you hold each other up and do what you can for each other when they need something. I will never sit on a patio with a glass of wine without remembering those nights during deployment with Kim, Alison, Beth, Michelle, Cari, Natalie, Vanessa and Rebecca. SO many crazy nights when we could have been crying alone but instead had the support and laughter of others just like us..

For all the good stuff there has been probably an equal amount of drama. Most of it senseless. Some of it cleansing. I guess all of it has had it's purpose in some way or another. Everybody says you'll make new memories with new people at a new post, but ya know....I don't think anything can compare to the experiences and people I have met here. They've all been amazing in their own ways and I will treasure that forever.

So with 12 days to go before we leave Fort Campbell, KY....can't say I'm in a great emotional place and expect it to only get worse as they days fly by and moving day draws nearer. First instinct is to distance myself and be emotional unavailable...but I would only be robbing myself of the amazing people in my life.

So off to try to get rid of the lump in my throat, the tears in my eyes and enjoy the hell out of the next 12 days.

Musings and Rants!

The sun is shining! The day is gorgeous! And I'm in a bad mood with a ton of classwork to do...due today! Yay for procrastinating! Not!

I have decided that I really despise Facebook. You are plugged into everybody's lives, they are plugged into yours. People like each other that you can't stand. People block or get blocked. It's a huge freakin dramafest that is better suited to a bunch of teenagers than adults. I get so annoyed by it! I don't even care that people post stupid status messages. I'm guilty! But it's this huge central mind warp that people apparently forget others can see. I try not to get butthurt because, for real? Why bother. But if you are invited to a party, stop and think before you post your weekend schedule....AFTER you've given me a lame excuse. I mean really? come on! If you know I dislike somebody that you don't know, but run out and "friend" them not long after....HELLO? what are you thinking??

In a nutshell....social networking sites are juvenile, a cesspool of drama and stalkers and they really piss me off. So why am I still on there?

On the good note! I decided to do the 365 days of photo challenge! I'm hoping it will get me more involved in blogging and help me stay motivated! So this morning grilled cheese became a photo! It is the best grilled cheese! Sharp and pepperjack on wheat...nom nom...definteily photo worthy in my opinion since it was such a filling and tasty breakfast!

Bittersweet Day....

Today was an awesome day! I finally got to meet a 4 year "friend" who is a fellow Army wife. After years of phone conversations and FB stalking...her family is moving to Fort Campbell...as we PCS to GA. Doesn't that just figure? It was great to hang out and chat like old friends with her and her beautiful family. It makes me even sadder to leave this hell hole that I have hated for the last 3.5 years. We only have 2 weeks left here....it's not enough time to say goodbye damnit!

On the plus side, everything is falling into place with the PCS. Utilities are scheduled for shut off, U-Haul is rented, packing is pretty much done, hotel reservations made. We are actually on the ball.

The down side....I feel so freakin guilty! Guilty for leaving awesome friends, old and new. I feel guilty that the husband is going into non-deployable status as I watch all of my friends' husbands embark on yet MORE deployments. I almost wish he were deploying. The next two years won't be easy because it sounds like Drill Sgt. time is going to be the equivalent of him being deployed/yet home. Weird. It's hard to even explain everything I am feeling about ALL of this right now.

There's some annoyance in there too, but I can't even go into that on a public blog.

Random thoughts:

I wish I had been able to reconnect/make things right with several people here before we leave.

Really going to miss the awesome support system I have here.

I wish I had had the time to get to know so many people better.

I'm great at making new friends these days but horrible at maintaining friendships and it sucks that it bites me in the ass.

I hate packing.

I need more coffee.

Ahhhhh life is NUTS!

So we have begun the craziness known in the military world as a PCS..."permanent change of station" for those non-military folk!

The husband graduated from Drill Sergeant School on April first and the joke is definitely on us! I have my very own drill sgt! That's all good and great but we hit the floor running with the move as soon as he got home! A week ago it was still sort of unreal (us leaving Fort Campbell)...until we put in our 30 day notice with housing. Today....we are in full swing. The house is full of boxes, we have a final move out day...and I feel like I am losing my mind! Not that there was much left to lose!

Unfortunately things are moving so quickly that I feel like I can't enjoy the last couple of weeks with the friends I have made here. It's kind of sad!  But what do ya do? oh well...as much as I love our life in the military, the next couple of years are going to be challenging. Hopefully school keeps me too busy to think about it!